Seasons come... Seasons go

After giving Caroline her bottle last night and laying her down, she decided she didn't want to go to sleep right then. I let her cry for a few minutes and then went in to console her. Sometimes she just needs me to pick her up and she instantly falls asleep on my shoulder. I did this same thing last night and as I stood there with her head on my shoulder I began to have thoughts drifting through my mind. The biggest one being "this is my last baby." I decided to sit down and rock her for a little while. She was already asleep but I wanted to soak in that sweet baby rocking. This is such a bittersweet season for me. Oh' how I have longed for the day when I can take all my kids outside and jump in the pool. No baby to hold or cry when they're tired after 15 minutes of being in the water. I have longed for the time at the playground when I can chase my kids and not have to push the stroller and carry bottles and little puff snacks to keep baby content. My dream of playing with all my kids at once is becoming reality sooner than I expected. Caroline will soon be a year old, walking, talking, babbling, and running around with her older siblings. But it seems as if a part of me will be missing. I have carried a baby on my hip for the past 6 years. They have just become an added accessory. So, as I continued to rock her I soaked in as much of her as I could because even though I will truly enjoy double bouncing all 4 of my kids on the trampoline I will miss having a baby. I am so thankful that God chose to give me a 4th child and that he was gracious enough to make my last baby a girl. He knew just what I needed to close this chapter of my life and move on to the next season.